I Don't Want to Pretend Anymore
by Ragevanilla
Summary: An extension to the ending of 2x02. What if Macy wants to stop pretending?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Macy almost grabbed his hands. She needed to make him understand that she didn't need a code word, a simple gesture or a system to see that it was her Harry and not the imposter.

"All I need is a look," the words spilled out of her mouth before she could stop herself, "like this, eye to eye." And she looked deep into Harry's eyes trying to convey all that she was feeling. "And I'll know. I'll just know."

Harry seemed lost for words. His mouth agape, he looked awestruck at the words that had just come out of Macy's lips. Catching himself he replied,

"Well I hope you're right. Because I'm afraid there's a storm coming Macy. If those demon bloodlines unite, it'll be unlike anything we've ever faced."

"Then it's a good thing they think we're dead." Macy replied. She realised how close to death she had come when the assassin had shot her with the poison arrow. It was a miracle they were all still alive. Stripped of their powers, stripped of their old life, being chased by this assassin that looked like Harry and now the war against witches that the demons had called for.

What's to say that tomorrow would even come for her? She made up her mind then. She realised that she didn't want to pretend anymore.

Macy didn't want to pretend she hadn't heard Harry's thoughts all those months ago. She didn't want to go another day without letting him know how she felt. For all she knew, this could be her last day, or Harry's last day and she knew she would be filled with regret if she never got to tell him.

It had been building up for a long time now. She didn't want to face it then but she knows now that this had been in the back of her mind since the day she took Harry to Summer's party almost a year ago. She had thought about Harry in a different way then but she ignored that niggling thought.

It would never come in to fruition, Macy had thought. Plus she had Galvin and Harry had Charity but before she knew it things had changed, drastically.

'And by God, I do love you.'

When she was the Source and she had heard these words, she was shocked. So shocked that she was quite tactless when reacting to his thoughts. Macy had never meant for Harry to feel awkward. She could've kept her mouth shut and she could have decided what this all meant on her own.

But no. She stupidly told him that she had heard what had just gone through his mind. And there was probably no coming back from that. Until now.

"Harry." Macy called as Harry was about to make his leave. "Can I talk to you about...something?"


	2. Chapter 2

Harry was about to leave when he heard Macy's voice.

"Can I talk to you about ... something?"

"Of course." He replied. Harry hoped it was not about the imposter and his seductive dreams. He had tried hard to hide his jealousy earlier on when Macy had told him about them.

It sounded crazy - to be jealous of yourself. But a little part of him wanted to know how Macy reacted to his other self. She had been nervous around him the whole day. Or was she just uncomfortable?

Harry suddenly realised that in his ramblings, he'd missed what Macy had said.

"I'm sorry Macy, can you repeat what you said?"

He saw that Macy didn't look affronted but quite nervous. She fidgeted with her fingers.

"I said I don't want to pretend anymore."

This was the second time tonight that Harry was left awestruck.

Macy was determined to tell Harry but now she was getting very anxious. Doubt started filling her mind. What if he didn't feel the same way anymore? What if she had left it too long? Another more terrible thought - what if she was projecting her feelings for the imposter on to Harry? What if he had gotten to her?

'No!' she thought forcefully. 'I know what is in my heart and I know what is true.'

She realised she had been silent for too long. Harry was waiting, with his mouth open and a very cute expression on his face. 'My god, he's cute.' Macy thought with a smile. 'Here goes nothing!'

"I know you asked me to pretend it never happened Harry, but I can't anymore. The fear I felt, when you didn't come through the portal with us. I don't think I've ever felt that way before. Not...not even when Galvin made his sacrifice."

Harry was listening intently, not making a move. He could scarcely believe what he was hearing.

"And when I woke up after being poisoned by the assassin's arrow...Harry, the immense relief I felt when I saw you, that was when I knew I couldn't go on long before I needed to tell you.

"I'm sorry if I'm being unfair or selfish but I almost died that day and to be honest we could die any day. We're powerless and away from home, there are no Elders, no other Whitelighters.

"We don't know what's coming tomorrow and I know I'd be filled with regret if I never got to tell you Harry."

"Tell me what?" Harry said softly. Would he finally hear those words? Was he certain that he was still awake or was this his imagination?

"There's a reason why the imposter is using your face to seduce me in my dreams. It's like he knows it'll affect me. It has been affecting me.

"I'm glad we had almost a year of becoming such good friends. Almost the best of friends. But...but I don't want to be your friend anymore. I've felt differently about you, long before I read your thoughts and I'm finally ready to face it. Call me selfish but I'm telling you because I don't want to lose you."

Macy was looking downwards with unshed tears in her eyes. Everything in her heart and mind was spilling out before her. She was scared but exhilarated, nervous but excited. She wanted nothing more than to be in Harry's embrace.

Almost as if he'd heard, Harry moved closer to her and lifted her face up gently.

"Macy," he said with trepidation, "I don't want to lose you either."

Macy looked into his eyes then and saw the sincerity pouring through them and decided to reply with the one thing she was absolutely positive about.

"I love you, Harry."


	3. Chapter 3

"I love you Harry."

Harry felt as if time had stopped. As if Mel has somehow regained her powers to freeze time. Had those words just been uttered by Macy? She loved him? Could it be true?

Macy loved him!

He took the hand that was still on Macy's chin and moved it upwards to gently stroke her lips with the pad of his thumb. He kept his touch light and could see a slight smile appearing on Macy's face.

Harry had imagined kissing Macy many times but he couldn't believe he'd finally be able to do it. He ducked his head down and ever so slowly brought his lips down to meet hers. He felt Macy sigh as he gently kissed her, just once, before placing his forehead on hers.

His heart was hammering in his chest as he said the next words, grateful he could finally say them out loud.

"I love you too Macy."

Macy almost sobbed with relief as she launched herself at Harry, relishing the feel of his arms wrapping tightly around her waist. She tucked her face into his neck and tried to calm her nerves.

Harry kissed the top of her hair and again as if sensing her needs, started stroking her hair in an attempt to calm her.

After what seemed like a lifetime, Macy slowly pulled back to look at Harry's face. He had the softest smile on his face but she could tell he was jubilant. She gave him a bright smile before leaning in to give him a kiss.

This time though it was longer, more desperate. Macy's hands found their way to his hair while Harry's hands travelled down.

She pressed herself into his body, enjoying it even more as she heard Harry moan.

The rattling of the door handle to the switch room made Harry and Macy jump apart suddenly. Both looked a little disheveled and red-faced but they couldn't keep the smiles off their faces.

They could hear Mel and Maggie making their way into the room.

Macy quickly looked at Harry and hoped that the quick shake of her head was enough to let him know that she was not ready to tell her sisters. He smiled reassuringly to let her know that he understood.

But his eyes also held a promise of finishing what they'd started and quite frankly, Macy couldn't wait.


End file.
